It can sometimes feel like life is happening to you and that the steps you are taking or choices you are making have no impact and bear no fruits. It is a difficult place to be in, like you are constantly fighting against nothing and everything at the same time. It is lonely and isolating.
You want to do God’s will in this world. It is a deep desire and a burning passion. But you either feel lost and unsure of what to do or feel like all your attempts are futile. Either way, you’re certain that there is work to be done and that you are not doing it, or not doing it right. And worse still you don’t know how to fix it.
Not to make an already difficult situation even harder on you, but do you realise you are centering yourself in a situation that isn’t strictly about you? We are talking about God and His eternal kingdom here, both as it is established on earth and as it will continue to persist in heaven.
You are part of this kingdom of course, and there is work to be done as you say. But why have we convinced ourselves that the only work to do is the grand, ‘heroic’ one? Why are we immobilised by the idea of doing the unnoticeable work that only directly impacts one person or a few people at best?
We have such selfish dreams of doing spectacular things under the guise of furthering God’s will when in all honesty our hope is to be noticed, lauded, and respected for being someone who has done something unmistakable and remarkable. You cannot serve God and yourself. There is no place for your ego to be held in as high esteem as the divine. You are called to serve. Service is not about you. It is about the people or situations made better by your ability to follow God’s instructions. It is about God being revealed in what you do. It is about being salt and light. Do the things God has placed in your heart as best as you can. Free yourself from the burdensome idea of being seen as successful in the work you do for God.