E,
Trauma is a part of living on earth. The only difference is how severe
it is and how soon it happens. We are all afflicted by humanity. We are wronged
and then do wrong. We are all in need of forgiveness and have much to forgive,
also. The things that weighed me down all through my life bubbled slowly and in
spurts. There was this rage I could not connect to anything and this propulsion
that did not make sense in the larger context of the things I really believed.
The resolution will take a lifetime. You will be unspooling from the human
curse your whole life. There is no escape from it but there is healing. Yet,
you must always remember that the things that are eternal about you will not
change. You will always want love. You will always seek meaning. You will
always tend toward the light. The seed of light is strong in all of us and it
will grow. One day, God will reap the fruit into newness and grace.
Do not waste your years trying to be perfect. Do not spend all your time
trying to live up to what a flawed man said on a pulpit that made him seem
bigger than he is. He is on the journey too. He knows much less than you think
he does. Rest, at last, in the arms of love. Rest, in the arms of God.