H,
It took us a while to realize that the rhythm of life does not roll with the tape playing in our heads. There is some dissonance there. We do not tell the story that way though. Our instinct is to always create a clean version of events. There is the pre- and then the event and there is the aftermath or newness. The linking stories do not matter or are left in the glaze.
Yet, as we grow, the inside and the outside must begin to match. This is the wholeness or holiness we are called to enter. This is the Kingdom in us. There must be no difference between what we claim we are and what we are.
In reality, our struggles are lifelong. We will not overcome until we are overcome by grace. Before that happens, our obligation is to be honest. We do not stand as suns of progress but as candles of vulnerability. We must pick that up again. There is no need for the great cover up. Our true audience already knows all we are. We must learn to be honest again.