H,

It never feels like we thought it would. It never has the same zest or
the same vivid colouring. Our dreams come true with certain realities we are unprepared
for. A sudden love turns into the everyday habit of patience, kindness and forbearance.
 A certain job becomes tedious and time
consuming. Leadership has many pitfalls and we are not sure where to turn to
when we need to be led ourselves. There is a masked difference between being at
a distance, on the fence or in the midst of it all.
We were promised an all-cure. What we have now is daily medicine against
despair.
I think all of this is by design. Our dreams are figments and reality is
something more coarse and real. Our dreams can keep us going or slow us down,
but they only serve the imaginative context of our lives. We may remember them
when we are in the thick of things, and they may well be some comfort there,
but they are not the reason we live or move or have our being. When we stand in
the light, we need a whole other compass.
That fear we feel, the idea that this was not the plan, the “forty year”
syndrome and all we use to describe our present ennui, are just signs of waking
up. We are becoming more alive in each mark and scar and piece of failure or
success we encounter. I think this is the whole point of this experiment or
adventure on the blue planet: to wake up.
“Awake my soul, for you were made to meet your maker”