Proverbs 3
H,       
If there
is anything we can take from these years spent “in the wilderness” of God, it
is that there is nothing to the present human heart that can remain. There is
no value in the ambition to be seen, heard or represented other than the
temporal feeling of purpose. He is not into that sort of thing and when we
think He is that is when actions of the divine begin to look vindictive when
they really are not. If we take our need to be heard, He will bring up a need
to listen. If we feel we deserve to lead, He will ask us to follow love. If we
complain about the scars others have left on us, He will say it is idolatry to
let anything other than the light lead us in our pursuit of meaningful lives. He
corrects, He instructs, He leads and He fulfills. It is wisdom to know this. It is
wisdom to live with this sort of awareness.
On the
road with God, disappointment in this life is not fatal but instructive. Once in
a while we begin to get cosy with the idea of consolation. Wine or sex or
position or money or the praise of friends and foes make us look at the softer
side of life. We may carve out a little oasis for ourselves through good
fortune and hard work. We may even begin to think that this is all there is; a
material reality and the rest was just poverty and want and hunger that can now
be numbed. But it is all just a numbing. We know it does not work. The truth
about living in these bodies is that everything will eventual disappoint. Without
the right vantage point, all the things we think we want will let us down once
we receive the curse of actually getting it. There is an anti-climax to the
human experience. Even in our deepest spiritual moments there is a feeling of
wanting more than one moment or twenty five. I do not think that the human soul
or spirit is insatiable. I think it just has not been filled yet.
These
things we think of as vital are just parts of an unfolding journey. There is
much more to come but that does not erase the immediacy of the now. We are not
here to sit and wait till that crown of glory falls. There is stuff to do. That
is indisputable. What stuff we are to do has an individual answer because the
call of God is that specific. It is not about a voice and fire-bush or smoke
and mirrors. There is a knowing God that comes from simply wanting to know and
follow God. And that should be the aim. To know and to follow.
Above
it all, lies the almighty truth that the stuff we do is just part of the road
too. It is not the vital part. The vital part is knowing the PERSON beyond the
voice, the fire-bush, the smoke and mirrors others throw up in your way
claiming they are ‘mentoring’ you into God. True wisdom comes from a
relationship with wisdom, Herself.