From Romans 12:1
H,
It is hard to quantify the
weight of sin. It is a strange weight, isn’t it?  The ones you feel are more heavily are the
closer and more personal faults. The ones you are blindsided by are the ones
you do not believe add up to much or do not even recognize. The ones you
criticize the most are the ones you think you have ‘conquered’ and cannot stand
the poor fools who have not done the same. In truth, all these weigh down and
leave us unable to offer up our best to God.
Yet, is that not the point? Why
do we not offer up the most precious parts of our constant shame? We forget too
easily that we are not in a beauty contest that God is judging over. We are with
the doctor: we must say what is really wrong with is. I remember going to the
doctor when I was younger with a dread of injections. I got so accustomed to
the diagnostic conversation that I could avoid speaking up about symptoms that
would get me that accursed needle.
That is sort of how we act
now. It seems better to appear well than to be well. The agreement with friends
seems larger than the will of God. The omniscient presence we cannot hide from
seems less urgent than the eyes of people we love of people we ‘lead’.  We hide because we want to be regarded highly
by the low ideals of others while we play hide and seek with the only ideal
that matters.
Here we have the call to
give up ourselves to God in all things. This is where we start. Sins confessed
on the knees. We give up our faults to God like we give up everything else.
There is nothing to hide from the all Seeing Eye above all eyes. It is that
thing we always say to the point that is now bordering on being a true cliché:
the cure to personal darkness is MORE and not less of God.