“Assemble.”
He can hear the storm gathering but it is not on the outside. Abuja is as hot as hell or as normal. There was an old joke about the fornications of politicians forcing this parcel of land toward the precipice of hell. This made him laugh. From the number of proposals, meetings, attempted bribes and outright offers of fornication he gets, the politicians were far from the only problem.
He is waiting for that phone call and dreading it but when it comes, he gives a weak sigh of some sort of relief and then picks up the phone:
-yes?
-Chukwuma are you and your friend mad?
-Madame President, he is not just…
-fuck all that. I just got the ministerial list. What is this? I stood up for you guys in the ascension and then the election. You cannot blindside me like this.
-Madame Senate President
-oh, stop that rubbish. You knew what this would mean. First of all, I was promised at least a 60-40 split on the gender line. This is barely 70-30. How the fuck am I going to sell this to all those women that came out for us?
-Madame…
-stuff it chucky. I do not need your condescending respect. If that fucking coward of a boss you have was picking up, I would be talking to him.
-Joan!
-yes?
-We did what we could.
-tits.
-change is slow. A ship in motion has to be turned around in small movements.
-what the fuck does that mean? Has Joshua been selling that hare-brained shit to you?
Dramatis Personae
Richard Edewor Williams-President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria
Joan Dakum-President of the Senate of the Federal Republic of Nigeria
Chukwuma Nwachukwu-Chief of Staff to the President
Joshua T. Bukar-Chairman, the Democratic Party of Nigeria (TDPN)
Flora Okonkwo-Director of Communications, Office of the Senate President
Anthony Nwabunor-Chief Correspondent, Daily Chronicle
Daily Chronicler
Anthony Nwabunor
Tony is looking at the legs in front of him, but they do not hold the sudden attraction of his younger years. His writing mind goes back to those stark images, the curve of her movements, his vest hanging over the reading lamp, the perspiration that seemed to come in with the dark and the fear of anyone – roommates, cleaners, laundrymen even – knocking on that hostel door and scaring her out of the reverie.
Now, the legs are there but the old fire is gone. Perhaps.
-stop lusting, I have only two hours, she says
-okay Flora
-sweet lord, I hate that name
-well, it is your name
-do you like being plain tony?
-only when my friends call me Tony Tetuila. Tony Montana or Tony Soprano is fine.
-oh, shut up.
She is laughing, though and smoking her cigarette away from his face. He is looking at her but still in some of the golden times of his mind.
-Joan lost her shit today. You could hear her down the hall.
-on the old homeboy?
-I think on homeboy two. She did not like that recruitment list. Not enough girl power.
-ahh. I expected that. Homeboy never keeps his word.
-do you hate him that much?
-no. but I am bothered by him and no one else seems to be.
-well, he is not the devil. I hear he does not break his wife’s heart too much. Like some people I know.
-well, we were never married
-I obviously meant in the biblical sense.
-well, I do not believe in your Bible stories
-what do you believe in, Tetuila?
-that there is an honest to God truth to everything. Just without the God.
List
From: Office of the President
To: Office of the President of the Senate
Dear Madame,
Please find below the proposed adjustments (“proposed my left buttock, they already did it, Flora”) to the ministerial portfolios, followed by the Ministers-Designate for each role for the attention of your Office and for the consideration of the Senate.
Cluster A-Economic Development and Innovation
Communication and Technology
Labour and Employment
National Planning
Investment (Local)
Cluster B-Finance, Revenue Generation and Diversification
Finance
Petroleum
Agriculture
Mines & Solid Minerals
Cluster C-Social Welfare
Social Development
Humanitarian & Disaster Relief
Investment (Social)
Poverty Eradication
Youth Affairs
Cluster D-Culture and Community
Information
Niger Delta Affairs
Women Affairs
Cluster E-Government Services
Defence
FCT
Health
Education
Cluster F-Foreign Affairs
Foreign Affairs
Immigration
Border Control
Trade (Foreign)
Cluster G-Justice Sector Reform
Justice
Interior
Police Affairs
Cluster H-Infrastructure
Transport
Works
Housing
Aviation
Power
