Z,
It is hard to describe why we wake up in the morning with any sense of joy in our lives. On the other hand it comes from a simple premise: we believe in something, in the idea that someone watches over us in all ways that are vital. This is not without fear or doubt or questions. These elements are the motivation for our journey of faith. The joy does not come from having all the answers. It comes from living the life.
Faith in anything or anyone is a deeply personal and specific thing. I cannot tell you with utmost certainty why the Christian faith speaks to me above any other. It did not come from sublimation. I did not come from any deep Christian heritage or strong Christian influence. It was around us but not particularly in us. It did not come to me through deep thinking, at first. It came, as a thing to dabble in, out of fear and those frightful sermons and films that spoke of hell. It was more like a series of deals and counterproposals to God or any deity or force that would listen to the things I wanted and provide them in any form. It was an assurance of goodness on earth and perfection in heaven that led me to the bread and wine of Christian communion.
The real shift happened when the ground fell out from under me. When I could not see this great love in myself. I could no longer exist on the fumes of ambition and desire alone. It would not do it. Those things did not disappear, but they did bow to something stronger and more present. I felt the pull of things beyond my control, and they did not fill me with dread anymore. I found joy in listening to the voice of things inside and outside my previous state. In the knowledge of things above me and things beneath me and things all around me and things inside me. It was not a complete solution or a final step. It was the first of many steps and the start of an eternal solution. Living in joy is the pilgrimage to God. I am not at all convinced it can happen only one way. I know it can and should and will, eventually, happen to everyone.