E,
There is always this received wisdom
about the nature of the mistakes you are bound to make. Most of parenting is,
unfortunately, caught up in trying to steer you away from our own common
mistakes. You are quite human enough to find your own darkness. We really should
just get out of your way and love you as best as we can. The rest will fold,
eventually, into the eternal love of God.
The great debate about
predestination also rolls into how you own errors will work out. Are we to
fight against our worst inclinations or hide in the snow still it all passes? How
do we balance grace against always falling? Where is the place of self-discipline?
Does the wrinkle of earth matter to the light of heaven and the things that
last forever?
I will say this: deeper than all
your sins is the reason for them. There is the human stain that we cannot
escape. For this we must be forgiving of others as well as ourselves, as much
as we can. This does not mean letting evil thrive. Not in us and certainly not
in others. It means understanding that evil is alive in all of us and the light
of God is here to heal all that.
We must open our hearts and lives to it. Or we
fall more into the mire. But this is not about one obvious fault. It is about
all of our nature. We are fallen. Yet, we will rise again. Do not despair. The light
is always winning against the dark.