E,
I cannot possibly give you all the advice you need. It could well be
that you do not need any. There is this need to overpack all “wisdom” into soundbites
and warnings. I am not going to live your life or face your struggles. I can
only be honest about mine and hope that helps. You must remember that you will
not always be strong. It is fine. You will get better at it.
The awareness of who you will grow. Time will tell you many things and
if you listen, it will eventually tell you everything. The most important thing
I have gleaned from my still ongoing journey is to learn not to make everything
an emergency. Things may be urgent in the moment or require immediate
attention, but they are not as life-altering as you may think. Part of this is
faith; I believe life is eternal and our present reality is fleeting. The other
part is just the normal ebb and tide of life, no matter what you believe.
It is important to remember, when you are not strong, that you will be
strong again. Do not think one superior to the other, though the latter is more
comfortable. Both are valid parts of your complete life. Find joy in both these
moments. Do not rush to concluding one or the other. Your life is always valid,
no matter how you feel. You are on a journey even if you feel you have arrived.
En-joy what it all means. Be who you are: the not always strong, but always the
light in the room.