H,
In the middle of all the grand things that have happened recently, maybe
I should say “grand”, it is hard to stay focused on why we began this journey
in the first place. The technical part of living and being sometimes blinds us
from the actual purpose of living. We can also strive to create all this art
and forget what we trying to say with it in the first place.
These past few weeks have had that stormy tinge to it. It has been like
those dreams I keep having of being thoroughly unprepared for an impending
examination only to remember at the last moment that I had already written it. It
has been brutal on the legs and brain, but I fear I have not yet felt enough
pain in my heart.
I know this seems like a sadomasochistic thing to say but you know me
well enough to know I am not one for pain. I can freely say that this job
requires feeling the pain and frustration within yourself and others and making
it useful through grace. I have to always remember that it all matters, and it
is not, as I am accustomed to doing, a mad dash to conclusions. Any service is
all like this. Any true living deals with the problem of pain and how to use
it.
I hope we never feel like we have to avoid it again. We have to run to
it and embrace it. No more silos and no more hidden hills. We have to live
powerfully and fruitfully in the dark. That is what this time is. This is all
the reason why we remain on earth.