Z,

It always feels like no one understands you. This is the grand loneliness talking and it may be right, but it is not true. The former means that you are unique and precious, so no one can keep up with your particular inflections. The latter means that no one is doing this on purpose. Their hearts may be cold and absent, but it is not in defiance of you, and no one is, primarily out to get you. They are just living for and in themselves. The deep secret is that you are exactly the same too. You are as absent and as cold as the hearts you wish would turn to you in all their beauty.

 

We are not yet evolved into the selfless texture of the universe to come. Not yet anyway. We are here to learn what does not work. We are here to experience a universe cut off from its source. We will not be full by pleasure or praise or everything going our way. That will only make us more and more empty till we lose all sense of place and purpose. When we begin to see that there is no real competition, there are no real enemies, everyone is trapped in a battle with their particular demons and we owe each other not condemnation but eventual love, the way God sees the world, then will that old chest that holds the vacuous heart, begins to come alive again or for the very first time.