H,
The ideal place we want is
to move from discipline to nature. It has to move from the conscious learning
of how to connect to the unconscious reflex of making it part of our lifestyle.
There is a good reason this is so alien to us. It has been shoved down our
throats as duty since we were children. We have been told that it is what we
owe God before He solves our problems. We have to do it. It is required. God
sits lonely in heaven waiting for a call so He can dispatch goodness to the
soiled earth. He cannot act unless we act. We give Him power. The world is
upside down because we are not yet on our knees.
We might not be able to
unbundle all the nonsense in those false claims in one conversation but I think
it is good to note that things may get lost in metaphor or analogy from their
original meaning or intent. It might well be that we are taking the rational
path to an emotive conclusion. Let me put it this way: if we are looking up to
God for answers would He be looking down to us for attention? Does that tell us
of what love is or is that merely an exchange of goods and services? Is the
business of heaven joy or just business? Something does not quite chime with
this image of a tin-pot, petty god more akin to a vampire who needs the praise
and worship blood of creation before he moves in our favour.
When I think of prayer I do
believe He wants to live in that space in us. I think as a father, as a mother,
as a sibling, as close friend and as lover, God longs to live in the town of
our hearts. I think prayer as connection is the most valuable part of that we have
before the crucial face to face to come. I believe that love is compelling,
both ways.
You know what I am going to
say next. Do not mock me. When I think of God and prayer I think of Peter Gabriel’s
“come talk to me.” Where truth is absent or unknown, honesty will do. I first
heard the depths of this vulnerable and heart breaking song when I was a kid
and so maybe I have always identified as the child in the words. It is about a
father who is so heartbroken by the absence of connection with his child that
he pleads for a conversation. I never connected it with my earthly parents. What
Nigerian child wants to talk to their parents that deeply? For some reason I always
connected with the song as a call to the sublime and the divine nature of
things:
the wretched desert takes its form, the
jackal proud and tight
In search of you I feel my way through the slowest heaving night
Whatever fear invents, I swear it make no sense
I reach out through the border fence
Come down, come talk to me


In the swirling, curling storm of desire
unuttered words hold fast
with reptile tongue, the lightning lashes towers built to last
Darkness creeps in like a thief and offers no relief
why are you shaking like a leaf
come on, come talk to me
Ah please talk to me
won’t you please talk to me
we can unlock this misery
Come on, come talk to me

I did not come to steal
this all is so unreal
Can’t you show me how you feel now
Come on, come talk to me

I can imagine the moment
Breaking out through the silence
All the things that we both might say
And the heart it will not be denied
Till we’re both on the same damn side
All the barriers blown away
I said please talk to me
if you’d just talk to me
Unblock this misery
if you’d only talk to me

And so I did.