You,
You’ve been speaking very clearly about the kind of person I am and the kind of person You want me to be. You’ve been very specific. I don’t know how I missed it all this time. I was looking elsewhere I guess, trying to “work out my faith” or something similar.
The problem with complaining, I was always told, is that you miss all the good things that ARE happening while whining about the things that aren’t. I have been living in my fear, anxiety, discontent, dissatisfaction, disillusionment for some time now. I am yelling “TALK TO ME!” You’ve been softly asking the same of me. I said “PLEASE, HELP ME! DIG ME OUT OF THIS HOLE OF MY OWN MAKING.” And You did, over and over and over again without me even acknowledging it. I turned to my brothers and sisters, I table all their faults before You and say “FIX IT ‘CAUSE IF I DO IT WON’T BE PRETTY.” You hold me by my head and say “There, there. Nobody’s perfect. Not even you.”
Thank You for speaking even though I don’t listen. Thank You for everything you give me even though I am ungrateful. Thank You for always leading me home – even though I don’t see the path. Amen.